Don’t worry, folks. 1000 Lives In 100 Words is not dead! But for now, it is on hold - I’m working on a few things to give this project the love and attention it deserves, including a redesign of this website. Stay tuned and I’ll release more info in the coming weeks. Thank you all, as always, for your heartfelt support.
Your direction in life doesn’t matter. What matters is staying true to your self. Do this, and the direction takes care of itself. New roads appear, the right people appear, books fall off the shelf for you and the right lessons show up. Art and spirituality run on parallel tracks. They go hand in hand, and when they run at the same pace synchronicity happens. My art is writing and my real work is finding joy in everyday things; things taken for granted or overlooked. From flying squirrels to paper airplanes, nothing is out of the realm of my pen.
I love science. Who wouldn’t? Science builds and organizes knowledge in the form of testable explanations and predictions about the universe. When a hypothesis proves unsatisfactory, it is either modified or discarded. This is how I live my life: I experiment. I collect data and feedback, and see whether what I do is working or not. If yes, I upgrade; if not, I discard. I’m looking forward to publish a book. I hope it’s going to work. If not, there’s still a whole world full of magic out there to experiment with.
If I could go back to my 16-year-old self I would encourage me not to do a single thing differently. Obviously I have regrets, but all those life choices; men, failures and successes led me to where and who I am today. Yes, I am a little bit fat, and yes, I am a little bit ugly. I also spend far too much money on shoes and dresses I will never wear, but this path of life has given me my deepest loves - Ben, Noah, My Mum, My Dad (who I miss everyday since Mesothelioma took him), Meribel and snowboarding.
It’s funny how I could sing in front of hundreds back then, but the idea of a recording of that event existing terrifies me. It wasn’t as if the girls (yes, they were all girls) were booing me; in fact, they were cheering, and some even developed crushes. Maybe I don’t want there to be a recording because it’ll sully the memory, the feeling of power and having the attention of many, if I find out how bad I truly was. One day, who knows, I might sing again, but it really depends on the music that might call me.
I’m twelve years old, and I live in France, I’ve lived in France my whole life, and my life is pretty much all in French. My friends are nearly all French and I go to French school. I do my favourite activities in French. I read in French I listen to French music. But when I come home it’s all in English, well apart from the homework that is. And I’m not actually French. I’m Scottish. And very proud. It’s like living two different lives. I love it.
I have lived my life in fear of the bitter unknown. Terrified of hallucinations that will never come. Though, with my ‘flaw’ I feel protected. Always on edge, ready for the inevitable. My school days so far have been fairly complicated. I have made my life ambition to rule the world and obliterate homework. I feel that it is ambitious, but important. Homework, in my eyes, is pointless in every way. After a day of excruciatingly long work at school, to return to home and have to continue the work is blatantly painful. Also, I love all chickens.
At 19, I read my first zen book. I’ve studied zen for 30 years. At 21, I first practiced yoga. I recently reconnected with it in a powerful way. At 44, I gave up my home. I’ve lived a nomadic life for 5 years. I meditate daily. I practice yoga daily. I try to improve myself. I travel. I meet beautiful people. I learn. I write. I share. My name means peaceful way. I am zen. I’m studying to teach yoga. I’m going to build a zen yoga retreat centre called Sanctuaries. Next year, I will be 50. What next?
I am twenty four years old and I do not hate my job. I work for a large multinational corporation, where I don’t leave the office. My driving mechanisms are happiness, not unhappiness. I try to not search for things that make me unhappy, they find me. I instead search for things; material, habits, people and thoughts and try to eliminate those that do not; debt, bills, sickness, unhealthy habits. I have come to the conclusion (within this weirdly difficult exercise) that I do not hate my job I am just choosing to eliminate it while still creating an income.
When I was younger I was never gonna be a mother that had a station wagon, live burdened by bogus feminine suburbia, and only talk about my children. However, the North Star of my heart for over 17 years is my daughter and her life inspired mine to end the familial abuse, breast-feed for three years, get a divorce, invent a career, run a small ranch in Montana, teach dance, believe in God, laugh so hard I fart, and own a station wagon. Her independence soon arrives, and my freedom is that much bigger thanks to mothering.
in my dreams / i’m just a vagabond / these streets a virtual stage / violence and double talk / my life was a lonely one, i was still mamma’s only son / look from the wings / searching for something new / where you runnin to / growin’ up / dying all the time / but i get up again / rest your head against the steel / gentle impulsion / producin’ the blueprints clueless / one sound / these nameless faceless saints / kickin through the autumn leaves / when you kiss me heaven sighs / unravel out the finer strands / blue skies smilin’ at me / every little thing’s gonna be alright / bound to run amok.
When I was twelve, I was “deeply in love” with a handsome basketball star on the Jr. Varsity team. To get him to notice me, I rode my bike up and down the street in front of his house every day for a week. He never came out and I didn’t know if he’d even noticed me. At church on Sunday, I overheard him telling a group of boys “don’t like her or she’ll ride up and down in front of your house and embarrass the crap out of you”. Humiliating? Yes. But at least I found out he’d noticed!
I was thirteen when I first fell in love. She was Bulgarian; I was shy and worshipped Jean Claude Van Damme. It stood against reason - how could I possibly love, let alone talk to a goddess? But I had a plan. I stood by her house and threw kicks and punches into the air, hoping she’d see my martial arts and instantly fall for me. But she didn’t call out to me; and after a while I got tired and went back home. We never talked. Today my communication skills have improved, but I’m still a hopeless romantic.
Over the last two years I left my job as an English teacher, quit graduate school, ended my brief marriage, moved out of the house I own, sold my car, and stopped eating meat. I realized I needed to hack into my happiness and discover what desires lay within my core. What did I want out of this dance? I found I want to write, teach, share, fall in love, trust and help people. For now I live in Texas, in 2012 I will be moving to South Korea with my soul mate to teach English. Funny how life works.
A close friend once said, “Joel, having a conscience is overrated.” He said this when asked if he felt bad for cheating on his girlfriend. “You don’t ever want to be on your deathbed regretting all the girls you could’ve banged but decided not to,” he said. Those words came to rationalize my decision-making for many years. I am in and out of the arms of women, but never get any closer to their hearts (or mine). I am puppeteered by the strings of temptation and don’t know what “committed” means when I see a woman smile at me.
